“I’M I BEING ABUSED?”…UNDERSTANDING DOMESTIC ABUSE

What is domestic abuse? What counts as abuse in relationships and marriages? As human beings, we all crave a sense of safety, belonging, being cared for and loved; feeling like we matter. This is especially essential for our brains and functionality and our general wellbeing. This is why we seek connections with others with the hope that we will have that sense of belonging, that sense of safety and feeling […]

“…I HAVE BEEN FASTING AND PRAYING FOR MY MARRIAGE AND MY SON AND I FEEL LIKE GOD HAS TURNED HIS BACK ON ME…”

A few years ago I had a chance to visit a juvenile detention center as a part of my clinical requirements. The main focus of the visit was to find out the role these centers play in reforming and rehabilitating kids/teenagers that have committed crimes. Coincidentally, on the day of the visit there happened to have been a suicide attempt by one kid, 14 year old Gerald. I got interested […]

FAITH OR DENIAL OF REALITY?

“MY HUSBAND JOINED A CULT AND TRIED TO SACRIFISE US” Read the title on Priscilla Adipo’s story, aired on Ebru TV Priscilla believes her husband hurt her for seven years, eventually abandoning her with her two kids for another woman because of a cult. However, the story paints a picture that fits well with a narcissistic abusive marriage. Putting in mind abuse is not restricted to physical violence. In fact […]

DID HE REALLY JOIN A CULT OR HE IS JUST A NARCISSITIC ABUSER DOING WHAT THEY DO BEST?

THE STORY OF PRISCILLAR ADIPO (AIRED ON EBRU TV)

Priscilla’s story is one that raises many questions and concerns. From religion to psychology, from faith to science From reality to what we perceive When can you say you have crossed the line of religion and faith into complete denial of your reality? Are our brains capable of playing tricks on us to feed our illusions, creating an imagined reality far from the actual reality on the ground? Is the […]

STEP BY STEP TIPS ON HOW BREAK FREE FROM NARCISSISTIC TRAUMA BONDING

“How do I set myself free from this trauma bonding”? “Is there something wrong with me?” “Will I ever heal from this pain and be free?” “Will I ever be a happy and normal functioning person again?” Questions keep flooding your mind. Recently, I came across this post from a woman: “How come when we are madly in love with someone we forget to love ourselves? We tend to overlook […]

RECLAIM YOUR LIFE!

THE FIRST MOST IMPORTANT STEP TO SETTING YOURSELF FREE FROM TRAUMA BAUNDING TO A NARCISSIST

“How do I set myself free from this hellhole of abuse?”  I know this is the question you all want answered. I could talk about trauma bonding all day, all year, but they will just be words. I can explain what narcissism is, what trauma bonding is and make you see what a pickle you could be in, but without real steps to actual healing, this can only be compared […]

SIGNS THAT YOU ARE TRAUMA BONDED TO YOU ABUSER

Intense negative emotional experience with a toxic or a narcissistic person usually leads to trauma bonding. Trauma bonding is the biggest reason many victims of abuse and violence are stuck in abusive relationships and marriages. It hold victims hostage to their abusers, sometimes for years even a life time. They become the narcissist’s puppet to manipulate and toy around with for personal gains. It doesn’t help that occasionally the narcissist […]

LET’S BREAK THESE TOXIC CYCLES PEOPLE

Family is the atom that forms the compound that is the society we live in. Now, We live in a society that has clustered itself up. And these clusters aren’t in harmony with each other at all. And I’m not talking about the financial or social status clusters here. I am talking about the state of families that are making up our society. I like to put is simple; we […]

TRAUMA BONDING NUMBER 4: INTERMITTENT REINFORCEMENT

Narcissists can put you on a schedule. An intermittent schedule. You never know when the reward or punishment will come One that keeps you longing and jumping in excitement at little bread crumps they occasionally throw your way. They push your limits, your boundaries over and over and over and just as you are about to give up on them and say enough is enough, they quickly switch gears give […]

TRAUMA BONDING NUMBER 4: REPETITIVE COMPULSIVE ACTS

Let me state a random fact before I get into describing what repetitive compulsive acts are. Repeated exposure to any form of abuse (physical, emotional, psychological, mental, financial…) is dangerous to your health and wellbeing. Abuse is traumatizing to the brain. And with trauma comes stress. Stress leads to overproduction of cortisol (a stress hormone) in our brains and too much cortisol damages your immune system. Therefore, victims of abuse […]